Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Find Dead Singles in Your Area (And Other Unusual Dating Websites)

Some people are delusional.
Some people have too much time on their hands.
Heaven help us when one person is both.
Or, when a whole website-full is.
DISCLAIMER: All of these actually exist.

Ahem.
Have you ever felt different, and wondered about other people that may be different too? Have you ever asked yourself how you could meet more of these special folks like yourself, since those boring mortals are far more common? Well, look no further. Here's a way to find a special someone for your (very) particular tastes.

Do the living bore you? Are they too easily scared off by your tales of the underworld? Do they laugh at you, and/or suggest mental help? Does being dead get you down? Are you having a hard time finding love because, well, you're dead? Well, here's the place for you to meet your soulmate. 'Til death do us part is so last year.

http://www.ghostsingles.com is the #1 resource to finding soulmates for souls. Never fear spending the afterlife without love again.

How many times have you gotten a drink tossed in your face when all you wanted was her blood? Do you seem to scare off all the humans because of your pale skin, nocturnal habits, and anti-reflective tendencies?
http://www.datevampires.com will help you meet dozens of other hot, single vampires in your area! Sign up today and get a quart of A positive blood free!

Arr! Plundering, terrorizing, and destroying Her Majesty's ships can get lonely! Instead of kidnapping a young maiden from the local village, try http://www.piratespassions.com! Instantly connect with hundreds of other pirates worldwide! Meet up for some pillaging today!

Are you ridiculously attractive? Tired of seeing people everyday who are so not aesthetically pleasing? Do you spend hours on your appearance every morning, and most importantly, are you full of yourself? Well then http://www.beautifulpeople.com/en-US is the place for you! They only accept the most beautiful of all. Only 1 in every 8 who apply are accepted. It's places like this responsible for the severe lack of self esteem found in half the population, and the blatant arrogance in the other half! Bonus points if you've been diagnosed with Narcissistic personality disorder by a credentialed psychologist. 

Is eHarmony just too mainstream? Are you tired of dating guys without mustaches, or girls without an unnatural hair color? Do you mindlessly hate Maroon 5 and Taylor Swift and any other band any normal person has ever heard of?
http://www.hipsterdatingsite.com is the best place to meet other hipsters online. Hurry, join before it becomes cool!


And, if none of those appeal to you, here are some more that may be just what you're looking for:

http://www.farmersonly.com—not for those city folk
http://www.veggiedate.org—meet other vegetarians 
http://www.purrsonals.com—for catlovers
http://mulletpassions.com—business in the front, party in the back

and finally, the weirdest one I could find:
http://www.clowndating.com—I'm not clowning around


No comments:

Post a Comment