Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Another Day

Yeah, I know this is a little different, so feel free to shoot, disown, burn, make faces at, or get into a theological discussion on Youtube with me about it. I just like writing fiction-y things more than meh-boring-maybe-kinda-stretching-the-truth-non-fictiony things. So here it is. If you want more fiction-y things in the future, tell me. Yep, all seven of you who still read this. Oh, sorry person who got lost on Google and wound up here after searching through treacherous swamps of the six or seventh page of your daycare Google search (you'll see why you're here in a minute), you too.

You see that aesthetically-pleasing thing on the bottom that says 'comments'? That, maybe to your surprise, is not there just to sit and look aesthetically pleasing. Use it, if you want. That's what it's there for. Though do be sure you take a moment and appreciate the aesthetically pleasing element of it. Though I've been practicing my telepathy, I won't be able to know what you think unless you tell me. So tell me if you like this, If it's the best thing you've ever read, or if you want more. Heh. No, Seriously. Tell me if you like it, if you didn't, if it was terrible, if you're never speaking to me again, or if you want more of this (or maybe something more serious) fiction-y stuff.  Because I won't know unless you tell me. Ah, logic.

Maybe I should stop rambling now. So here's my story:

I look out the dirty windows. The sun is trying so hard to break through the barrier of the dark clouds, but is failing. My captors discuss in hushed tones, above my head, whether we should be taken outside into the bleak mid-winter day. I pray they won't send us out into the harsh wind.

Surreptitiously, I glance over at them. They notice my glare and tell me to finish eating my food. Hah, food. I wonder how long it's been sitting on that shelf, so high above my head. My fellow prisoners are also forced to eat the dry, tasteless meal. Some appear to enjoy it. I feel pity for them, for they've obviously lost all sense of taste after eating...whatever this is for so long.

Suddenly, one of our tall, stern captors stands up and barks at us to finish eating, we were being taken outside. I curse inwardly. My worn jacket is too thin, the wind will cut through it easily.

We are marched, single file, towards the glass door. One of my captors stands in front, leading the march towards the cold, another stands behind, making sure there are no stragglers. I again am frustrated. There's no chance for an escape, no way I could make it out of here. I adjust the twisted identification tag pinned to the back of my jacket, straightening it out.

After I'm pushed through the door, I walk alongside the fence. the ground is covered with sharp splinters of wood, getting stuck to my socks and into my shoes. I look up at the metal contraptions my fellow captives are climbing over. The metal structures are tall, far taller than I will ever be. They loom condescendingly over me, their gaudy colors slightly faded in the bleak grey light.

I sigh and run my hand along the towering fence. Soon, I'll be out of here. The trees on the other side whisper to me a dozen ways of escape, but I will wait. I smile. I'll bide my time. And eventually, I will be free.

A bell rings somewhere. I look up. This is what I am waiting for. As they count and file us back inside, I look back at the yard. Good riddance, I think, although I know I will be back here tomorrow, the day after, and the day after that, the end nowhere in sight.

This has been another day at preschool.


(and this may or may not be a slight parody to A Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich depending on the copyright laws and whatnot. Hey, I've got to find some way to enjoy these school books.)

(oh, and that aesthetically-pleasing box down there is the comment box I was telling you about, in case you got lost. You type stuff there. I mean, relevant stuff. As much as I love editing, I don't really want to read your essay or lab report or thank-you note to your grandmother for the lovely sweater she sent you last Christmas. So don't be a smart aleck. Or annoying. Or a serial killer. Or all three.)



Thursday, June 27, 2013

How to Anger vs. Happy a Nerd


Basically what the title says. If you want to annoy your geek friends to no end, or if you want to impress them, here you go.

How to anger a nerd:

1) "Is Doctor Who an alien?"
2) "I watched Harry Potter because it had Edward Cullen in it."
3) "I don't read."
4) "Who's Benedict Cumberbatch?"
5) "Wait... that movie was based on a book?"



How to happy a nerd:

1) "Lord of the Rings? I love those books!"
2) "I'm a Ravenclaw... what's your house?"
3) "David Tennant was my favorite Doctor."
4) "I want to form a Quidditch team."
5) "Kirk's pretty good... but Picard was better."

You're welcome.

Monday, June 17, 2013

Something...Normal?


So I decided to try and write about normal things today. Hey, stop laughing! I mean it. No more holes in the Space-Time Continuum. No more paradoxes. No more...are you quite finished?

So...well...this is...different. What do normal people think about all the time? The weather?

Oh yeah! It's Summer! hooray!! hooray!! We school folk are free from tyranny for three months! What's that? Closer to 2 1/2 months? Be quiet. Let me dream. My summer will consist of watching Doctor Who (I can't wait for the 50th anniversary special in November!), writing a whole lot, playing guitar (and making the neighbors thoroughly sick of Owl City), and pretty much being an elusive (though brilliant, of course) geek the rest of the time. Oh, and getting through that stack of about 14 books that I told myself I would read over the summer.

Oh! And going to one of my favorite places... Hume Lake. Seriously the best summer camp ever. I didn't think I would be able to go this year. Thanks to whoever paid my scholarship. You guys, you have not lived until you've gone there. You play these weird random games that are probably more fun for the staff to watch you attempt, eat the best milkshakes ever, get stranded in the middle of the lake because your canoe tipped, get woken up by the staff who force you to say the Pledge of Allegiance at five in the morning, and stay up until 4 AM telling weird stories about ceiling fans and a demonic clown and laughing maniacally. Seriously, it's the best.

So that's how I'm spending my summer. At least how I plan to spend it. I dunno, maybe the apocalypse will happen. Maybe I'll die (again). Maybe Aliens will attack. Maybe California will secede. That would be cool. Now you know what I think about all the time.

Anyway, have a great life and here's to summer!




Tuesday, May 14, 2013

We're Not Selling Anything. Really. Just Salvation.


"We're not selling anything,"
The first tip-off that these official-looking people with their official-looking hardhats and vests and official-sounding voices were, in fact selling something. Apparently, SoCal Edison has suddenly and kindly felt that we are paying far too much on electricity bills, and out of the goodness of their hearts have sent these two angels down from above over to our humble abode to—not—sell us anything. Certainly not to try and persuade us to go solar. At a very (unmentioned) heavenly price, too. It's like noble conning. Go figure.

"We're not selling anything,"
I heard again, about three hours after the first pair of angels had left after about 13 "No, sorry, we're not interested"s, and after having the door shut nearly on their heavenly noses. I guess the lovely folks at "SoCal Edison" had sent a second pair of angels on us stubborn non-believers, to "gently" and "kindly" show us the ways of righteousness. Or, at least the ways of extravagantly expensive solar power. Two in a day. And still we refused to see the eco-friendly light. Again we shut the door in their angelic faces. They sure can talk the leg off a table.

I was thinking of ways to shut their preaching off. So next time they come around trying to convert us, they're gonna hear all about Jesus.

"Do you know how much you're paying on electricity bills currently?"
Do YOU know how much you're paying for your sins currently?
"Have you considered going with solar?"
Have YOU considered going with Jesus?
"Well, can I leave you a pamphlet?"
Can I leave YOU a tract? Here, take twelve. And here's a New Testament.
"Solar is the best way to go, it'll change your electricity bills drastically. We want to know if you would qualify for a complete conversion(what is this, the Borg collective?) free of charge."
Jesus is the best way to go, HE'LL change your life drastically. And it's completely free of charge.
"Have a nice day."
Have a nice LIFE. Then close the door with a creepy smile. Maybe quote some of Romans or something.

That should shut them up.


Saturday, May 4, 2013

10 Things To Do in Elevators

So this is gonna be a short one, because you guys are way to busy with finals and graduation and life and Doctor Who to read a long, well-thought out, terribly witty post. Or maybe that's just me.

But just for fun, here are some things to do when bored in a crowded elevator. Warning: this may make people hate you.

1. Talk in a british accent and ask people to call you admiral.

2. Tape off a corner of the elevator. Tell people that it's your corner, and they can't be in it.

3. Take about a hundred selfies. And maybe some pictures of other people too.

4. If it's just you and one other person, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

5. Talk to yourself or sing.

6. Carry an empty glass jar. Take it out, look surprised, and ask people if they've seen your pet tarantula.

7. Say "ding!" at every floor.

8. Bring a sock puppet. Enough said.

9. Ask people if you can push the button for them.

10.  Wait until the elevator is full, then say "you may be wondering why I've called you all here today..."

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

The Paradox of Hipsterism


Yeah, I'm doing another oh-no-this-will-rip-the-space-time-continuum-apart post. Maybe we should make it a regular thing. The post, I mean, not ripping the Space-Time Continuum apart. I think maybe I will. Mainly because I really like using the word paradox.

Anyway, once again, a deadly force is silently scratching away at the fabric of space, more deadly than any other. Well, for now, anyway. Maybe this is intentional, maybe no one has noticed. Maybe no one cares. Probably that. But truly I say to you: Hipsterism will tear a gaping hole in the fabric of space. Why? Because hipsterism in itself is a paradox.

Here's what I think, not that you would particularly care: Hipsters, by definition, do things before they are cool. They are the trendsetters. Ahead of their time. Right? Ergo, hipsters aren't cool yet. They're not in style yet, because they're ahead of their time. So, we can conclude that Hipsters aren't cool.

And yet, our very culture tells us differently. Hipsters are highly praised, the subject of much adulation. If you are a Hipster, you are cool, because Hipsters are in right now. Many try to attain Hipster status.

So, Hipsters are both cool and not cool at the same time. There's your paradox. Cheers.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Shakespeare is a Terrible Way to Die


Yeah, I know it's been a while. Sorry.

So, I think all of us know the pain of having to read Shakespeare or some nice thick novel that was written back when even Doctor Who hadn't aired yet (was there even such a time?). Yeah, It's a great book... says our AP english teacher. Maybe we could form the same opinion as our teacher. If we could understand what the heck ol' Will was trying to tell us. So I think it's time for a major rehaul of literature in the highschool curriculum. I think it's time to translate Dickens and Shakespeare and Chaucer into... modern language. Bear with me here. Observe my attempt at making these works comprehensible.

Hamlet:

Scene I Act I
Barnardo: ‘sup, bro?
Francisco: ‘Sup bro yourself.
Barnardo: The king’s a boss.
F: Barnardo? My man?
B: the one and only.
F: you’re right on time.
B: yeah, well, it’s twelve. You should be in bed, young man.
F: whatevs. Thanks bro. it’s freezing out here, and I’m kinda low.
B: had a quiet shift?
F: pretty much.
B: well, see ya. If you see Horatio or Marcellus, tell ‘em to get the heck over here. They’re supposed to stand guard with me. It’s gonna be a wild time.
F: no, I hear em coming now. ‘Sup homies?
Horatio and Marcellus: We’re patriots!
F: well, see ya.
M: awesome. Wait, who’s replacing you?
F: Barnardo, chill out man. *Exits*
M: hey Barnardo.
B:*nods head upward* is Horatio here?
M: more or less.
B: sweet.
M: so have you seen that weird thing yet tonight?
B: don’t think so.
M: Horatio says we’re crazy, and he isn’t cool with believing this ghost thing. That’s why I told him to come join the party tonight, so he’ll see it and I’ll be all like “What now?”
Horatio: dude, chill out, its not going to happen.
B: chillax, dude, let me explain. If you don’t want to believe it that’s cool, but we’ve seen it two nights now.
H: YOLO.
B: so last night, right? About this here time, one o’clock or so, me and Marcellus—
*enter ghost*
M: dude, shut up!
B: it looks kinda like the dead king.
M (to H): bro, you’re smart. Go on, say something.
B: look, Horatio agrees with me, don’t you? It looks like the king, am I right?
H: yeah, bro. dude, this is creepy.
B: go on, say your piece.
M: ask it something, Horatio.
H: challenge accepted. (to ghost) hey! What’s up with you? Come at me bro!
M: dude, not like that. It’s offended.
B: yeah, it’s gone.
H: Stay where you are! Don’t leave! Talk to me, bro! I didn’t mean it!
*exit ghost*
B: Epic fail.
M: nice going, genius. It won’t answer now.
B: what’s up with you, Horatio? You look really creeped out. Now do see what we’ve been telling you?
H: I swear, if I hadn’t seen it myself, I never woulda believed it.
M: WHAT NOW??? HA! But its weird how it looks like the king, right?
H: yeah, pretty much. Weird.
M: yeah, it’s happened twice before, too. The ghost is such a stalker.
H: I dunno, but I don’t think this is cool for our country…



Beowulf:


Ch 3:  The coolest guys around couldn’t even help Hrothgar (what a name, huh?), who was at an all-time low. His peeps just had to suck it up and endure the nightly attacks.
So, this monster Grendal, was pretty famous for his attacks in another kingdom. So this ruler of the other kingdom, Hygelac (and I though Hrothgar was bad…), had a great warrior who reported to him. This was a guy who really knew where his towel was. He had it all together. When he heard what was goin on, with Grendal and all, he was all like “naw, bro, that’s just not cool. Ima just sail on over and help my homie Hrothgar.”

His buddies really liked him (he probably had a girl too), and they were a little on edge to see him rushing off to fight some monster, but they were like, “that’s cool dude. We’ll be waiting for you. Tell us your story when you come back.”

So this warrior took like 14 of his closest friends (they were warriors too, but not quite as cool as this guy), probably had a long emotional conversation with his girlfriend (“say you’ll wait for me!”), and got gone.
Then there’s some poetic stuff about sailing and birds and stuff.
Then, when they got there, some upstart guard guy starts giving them nonsense about having permission and papers and gun control (not the smartest guy, seeing as these are warriors armed to the teeth). But then he comes around and is all like, “Oh, you guys are warriors, right? or are you spies? Same diff, really. But speak up.”
So, this warrior guy sets this upstart straight.
And by the way, he goes by Beowulf.




So that's that. Tell me if I should do more. 'Til then, watch out for Shakespeare and others. It can be deadly. Homework is a terrible way to die. Believe me.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Death Isn't That Bad


So, I haven't been writing as much as I want to. I was going for  once or twice a week, but I kinda failed. Sorry. I'm telling you, it's all these loopholes in the space time continuum! Or, maybe just a whole lot of schoolwork. Or maybe I've just been lazy. Nah, it'll be those darned loopholes. As long as it isn't my fault.

That's the thing, we all want to avoid blame. Some of us go farther than others (like blaming the space-time continuum), but on some level, that is our mindset. So, sorry for being lazy and not writing as much as I'd like to. Part of the problem is that I really still don't know what I'm supposed to be writing about. Another part is that I feel like I only have about 6 hours in my day. And another part of the problem is that I died last week. It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I mean, it wasn't great, I wouldn't want to make a habit of it, but it was an interesting experience. But enough about my death.

My life has been rather busy and boring at the same time lately. I'm in the middle of a devastating war with algebra 2 (somehow I managed to scrape up an A- this semester, I still think someone bribed my teacher or something)that I feel I'm losing. I'm also helping to plan an event for my homeschool group. It's gonna be epic ( oh, sorry, did that word go out last week? what is it now?). Spending 30 hours not eating and being surrounded by people my own age with probably no time to myself is my idea of fun.
Wheee.

Nah, it'll be cool. Even for an introvert like me. I mean, we're supporting starving children in Africa. You can't oppose that. Unless you're like a serial-killer-puppy-murderer-unicorn-and-kitten-mauler-terrorist. And I have yet to meet one of those.

My non-school time is spent daydreaming, writing about eight different stories at once(and probably never finishing them), trying to play guitar, generally trying to avoid interacting with people, harmonizing with Owl City songs, and watching Sci-fi and cop shows(though I have yet to discover a sci-fi cop show).

So, between planning strike tactics and invasion strategies for algebra 2(and the rest of school), saving starving children, rewatching all the Doctor Who and the Flashpoint (best cop show I've found) episodes, and good-old-fashioned daydreaming, I find little time to write in this here blog. But I'll try. I promise.

Again, I have no idea what I'm supposed to be writing about, so you may have to put up with me writing about anything and everything I feel like writing. Sorry for the inconvenience. Ha, not really.
Feel free to suggest things to write about, and I may or may not heed your suggestions. But really, do.

So that's that. I should say something profound and inspirational right about now, but I'm not that cool.

'Til then, watch out for serial-killer-puppy-murderer-unicorn-and-kitten-mauler-terrorists. I've heard that they can be pretty bad.







Wednesday, January 30, 2013

We Need To Break Up...

My love,

I can't honestly say I never thought it would end like this. I think we both knew that eventually, this would end. It was great while it lasted, it felt like it would never end... that it would just continue on in blissful happiness for all eternity... but it's time to face reality. This relationship just can't last the way it is. Don't worry, it's not you, it's me. It's my fault for thinking that maybe this could last forever... and leading you on. It's my fault for enjoying every second of our short relationship. I just never realized it would be over so soon. You were amazing, but now it's time to move on to other things. But I don't think I could ever feel the same way about anything again. You were one of the best things in my life at the time... but now, all that's left is just a hollow shell of what you used to be. At least I'll always remember you. You were everything to me. But that's all changed now. I've come to realize that some things just can't last forever. Honestly, I think we both knew it had to end this way. With me happy and you dead. Forever. No, I'm not sorry for what I've done. But you were still the best piece of pie I ever ate.

Sincerely, Me.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

10 Things Doctor Who Has Taught Me


1. Running is usually the best option.

2. Sometimes the best way to react to deadly serious things is to take them a little lightly.

3. London is a very, very bad place to be on Christmas Eve.

4. Statues are evil.

5. No matter how bad the situation looks, it can always be solved in forty minutes.

6. Sometimes the people who seem the happiest are the ones who have suffered the most.

7. Always bring a banana to a party.

8. Don't be afraid to act ridiculous.

9. Always press the big red button.

10. Five minutes isn't nothing. You can do a lot in five minutes.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Netflix's Most Forgettable


I think I speak for virtually all of us when I say: I love Netflix instant play (ooh! ooh! it rhymes too)(AHH! rhyme inception!)). I mean, I watch all of my TV shows via Netflix, and most of the movies I like too. But, unfortunately, the harvesting ground of Netflix watch instantly is riddled with rocks, potholes, the occasional cow, and a whole lot of low-to-no-budget horror movies that look like they were made in the producer's backyard with their new-in-the-80's camcorder that they dug out of the attic for the occasion.

First off, there are the movies that should've never even had a movie #1 that now have magically adopted a number 3 at the end of the title. You can immediately spot these by their title, something like: The Ballerina Princess in Disguise 3, or Robots in Decidedly Non-Robot Situations 3, or the ever-popular Ninja Robots vs. Alien Cowboys: The Extended Edition.

Then, you get the movies that try to pass themselves off as the real thing, like: The Oppressed Princess and her Authority Figure, or Supernatural Activity, Air Buddies 3, Titanic II (an actual movie on Netflix... but I thought it sank in the first movie?) , Legally Blondes, or anything like that.

Now we come to the deluge of holiday movies that, come Christmastide, infest the movie queue like a horde of ill-fed, giant, diseased rats. These too, you can recognize by the title. Things like: A Christmas Rabbit 3, and Holiday Dogs, A Christmas Song, How the Snowmen Saved Christmas, or the deadly Santa Claws 4. I have come to the conclusion that most holiday movies are, in fact, rubbish, so I simply stick with the Doctor Who Christmas specials.

Then there are the low-to-no-budget horror movies. These you can tell because they try very, very hard to take themselves seriously and fail miserably. These have titles like: The Zombie-Vampire invasion, or the Undead Tarantula, or the Two Headed Shark. Another way to tell if a horror or action movie is rubbish is if they don't put any of the actors names on the front. Or if the ratings and quotes are from utterly obscure companies that have no business reviewing movies and probably couldn't tell a good movie if it danced the tango wearing a kilt in front of them. Oh, and if there is a scantily-clad woman on the front, especially if she is the only thing on the front, she was probably the highest-paid actor in the film. So don't watch it. It probably sucks.

I have also learned how to tell a romantic drama from a romantic comedy (and the basic plot line) from the cover of said movie. Assuming there are a man and a woman on the cover, the plot is as follows:
#1. If they are looking at each other, you can safely assume that it's a romantic drama. And it's something sweet and sentimental about after everything tries to tear them apart, they don't give in, blah blah blah, they fall in love, blah blah, the end.
#2. If the guy is looking at the girl and the girl is looking at you, It's a romantic comedy, and the plot is something like she kinda likes him, but he's not really into her or anything, so after an hour and a half of some clichéd retorts and questionable acting, he finally stops being such an idiot and they fall in love.
#3. If the guy is looking at you and the girl is looking at him, it probably means that there was another woman involved.
#4 For some reason, if they're both looking at you, it's probably a good movie. I haven't figured out why yet, but that seems to be usually true.
#5 And finally, if they're back to back, holding machine guns, have a ridiculous expression on their face, or doing some cool-looking but wholly impractical martial arts moves, the movie is rubbish. Don't watch it.

So, I hope that I have perhaps slightly lessened the grief and pain of the Netflix Instant Queue for you, and 'til then, have, um, some cake or something like that. Not all cake is a lie. [<-- sorry, computer game reference. Yeah, I'm kind of a nerd. Deal with it.]



Tuesday, January 8, 2013

One Direction Is Ripping a Hole In the Fabric of Space


 Something is silently ripping space apart. Something deadly, but cleverly disguised. If we don't stop it, it may create a void in the fabric of space the exact size of Estonia. We need to become aware of this force, for if we don't... I shudder to think. The universe is in peril. We need to act now, for One Direction is ripping a hole in the fabric of space.

You heard me right. The oh-so-popular British boy band is tearing the universe apart with a simple love song. "What Makes You Beautiful" is the origin of this. Yes, I've already contacted the Bureau of Space and Time (and the Bureau of Other Unrelated Anomalies, in case you were wondering), but they, too, failed to see the impending doom. Since they won't listen, here is my case:

In One Direction's big hit, "What Makes You Beautiful", the fact that she doesn't know that she is, in fact, beautiful, is the cause of her aforementioned beauty. But, now that they have written a song to her, proclaiming to the world and telling her in trite lines of lyrics that she is actually beautiful, she has obviously ceased to be beautiful. Because, of course, now that she has heard this undeservingly famous song written for her, she now knows that she is beautiful. Therefore, she is no longer beautiful, for stated in the song are the lines : "You don't know you're beautiful...(oh, oh)...that's what makes you beautiful."

But it doesn't end there. No, no, no it doesn't. It gets much worse. Now that this poor girl isn't beautiful anymore, she returns to her previous state of oblivious beauty, for she no longer knows that she is beautiful. And after all, that is what made her beautiful in the first place. Now she is back to being beautiful, but not for long. For again, the song tells her that she is beautiful, and again she ceases to be so, for her realization of her beauty immediately cancels it out.

And it goes on and on, in a downward spiral that will end up, if we're not careful, in effectively ripping a hole in the fabric of space. What should we do about it? Well, I would, for one, recommend that the band disband so as to prevent other holes from being created. To the rest of you... be aware. And careful. And maybe find something better to listen to than clichéd pop songs. Nothing personal you understand, just protecting time and space...

'Til then, be careful. And maybe have a good life or something.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

The Avenger...ers


Don't get me wrong. I love The Avengers. I saw it a total of four times in theaters, and now own it on DVD. But every time I watch it... I can't help but feel, well, just slightly disappointed. Yeah Iron Man (obviously the best character) and Hawkeye (why does it always sound like 'hot guy' when you say it out loud? Really, try it.) are great, but if I was in charge, that script would have been a bit different. I was trying to pinpoint what exactly it was that gave me that subtle underwhelming feeling, when I realized with a start: the cast was all wrong. These heroes are great, but they could have been so much better.

So, I have decided to compile a new team of heroes. These are the Avengerers (or, the More Vengeful for all you grammar police out there, but it just doesn't have the same ring to it).

1.  Anyone who knows me well will be able to instantly predict who I am about to say first.
The Doctor. The Doctor is the main character in a British TV show called Doctor Who, and it truly is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Come to think about it, what is so great about sliced bread? Anyway, The Doctor would definitely be a great Avengerer. I mean, he saves the world on a daily basis anyway...

2. Gandalf. Perhaps the best character in the Lord of the Rings, he would bring some gravity to this group. Although we don't actually see him use magic all that often in the books or movies, he is certainly capable of more than we give him credit for.

3. Jason Bourne (from the Bourne trilogy). Although simply human, he possesses some wicked fighting skills (and even better driving skills). I mean, he can take out a house with a magazine and a toaster. And take out a hit man with a ballpoint pen. Plus, he's just, well, cool. There's just this aura of coolness surrounding him wherever he goes.

4. After recently seeing the movies and starting the books ( I just finished the third), I have come to realize that this young man deserves a place in the Avengerers. Harry Potter. Harry Potter definitely should be on this team. I mean, you never know when you'll need a well placed 'Expelliarmus'. Of course, the Doctor can probably do that simply with his Sonic Screwdriver, but Harry is capable of much more than just that. I mean, he defeated Vol— I mean, he-who-must-not-be-named more than a few times. Though it is nice of you-know-who to wait 'til the end of each school year to try and kill Harry. Even though he wants to take over the world and kill everybody, he still cares about Harry's education.

5. Being the trekkie (Star Trek Fan) that I am, I have to include the best character in the series. No, not Captain Kirk. Not even close. The character I am talking about is much, much better. He is, of course, Data. Data is from Star Trek TNG (The Next Generation), is an android (sort of like a super advanced robot. He looks human, except he has really pale skin, no emotions, and is a whole lot stronger and contains a whole lot more information than a normal human), and is by far my favorite character in the series. I have a feeling that Data and the Doctor would get along well, because they're both fond of spouting out really sci-fi-sounding-advanced-computer-techie stuff. Except Data actually knows what he's talking about.

6. Now, not many of you will know this next Avengerer. She is a literary character, and though I haven't read the books, my brother has assured me that she definitely belongs in the Avengerers, and encourages you to look it up. Her name is Maximum Ride. She started as an experiment in a government-lab-top-secret-evil-safe-house-thing. As a result, she has wings, can fly, and does other cool things. She belongs here, in the Avengerers.

So, we have our team. I've spent some time thinking about how they would interact with each other, and come to the conclusion that The Doctor would automatically take charge (because he always does), but Gandalf would actually be the backbone that holds this team together. Harry Potter meanwhile, would be annoyed that he wasn't in charge (because he usually is) and also be miffed that he's the youngest on the team (actually Max might be younger, I'm not sure). Data and the Doctor, as I mentioned before, would get along well because they're the true geniuses of the team. Come to think of it, Data would get along with everyone well. I'm not sure how Max would take all of this (owing to the fact that I haven't actually read the books), and Jason Bourne would just be all chill all the time. They would fly around in the TARDIS (Ha! it actually does have the right number of pilots now! [<--- Doctor Who reference]) and fight all the antagonists of the universe.

Note: Many may think that I have missed the obvious choice of Katniss for the female Avengerer, but—just—no. No. The Hunger Games will not be observed in this team of pure awesomeness. It just doesn't belong. Sorry. The book was good. It was good, just not, well, that good.

So that's that. Tell me if I missed anyone. 'Til then, have a fantastic life.





Friday, January 4, 2013

Monkey See, Monkey Do...

         

          Ok. My turn.  My older brother and sister both started blogs not long ago, and, after deliberating for some time about it (about two and a half minutes) and having a deep, insightful conversation with my sister about it ( "Hey Jamie, should I start a blog?" "Yeah, you probably should."), I finally came to the conclusion that I should, in fact, start a blog. Now I've no idea how often I will write in it, or just what I will end up writing about, but it's the thought that counts, right?

I may end up talking about books and movies (likely), Doctor Who (likelihood on a scale of 1 to 10: 11), musings on life (very likely), the random, disconnected thoughts (pretty much all my thoughts) that run through my head (very likely), or the growing price of dried apricots in Tajikistan (not very likely at all, but you never know).

I hope this is something I write in quite a bit, but considering all the loopholes and fragmentation currently infesting the space-time continuum, that may not be possible. But I'll try. I promise. I've already contacted the Bureau of Space and Time and Other Unrelated Anomalies. They're on it. No, I did not just make that up. Ok, fine. Just kidding. You got me. Of course the Bureau of Space and Time and the Bureau of Other Unrelated Anomalies are completely different things. Duh.

Anyway, I guess the point of this for me is to organize my thoughts that are always trying to run in all possible directions (and a few more). And I hope that, for you, it might make you smile just a bit. After all, it takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile. And 0 to sit there with a dumb look on your face, I guess. So if you want to burn calories (or build up your face-muscles), I suggest frowning on a regular basis, maybe at everyone you see. But if you want to keep your friends, and save energy, smiling would be best for you. And finally, sitting there with a dumb look on your face would be best if you absolutely wanted to conserve all possible energy. I mean, there are so many things you could do with that energy that you just saved. Just think of all the possibilities...

But I digress. 'Til we meet again, then.